The Private Suffering of Charlie Swan
by LadyofSpain
Summary: Bella wasn't the only one who "died" when Edward left. Charlie was beside himself watching her waste away, that is, until Jacob Black entered the picture.


**The Private Suffering of Charlie Swan**

By **Lady of Spain**

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.**

* * *

I came home from work like any other day and found the house deserted. The lights were out and there was no food cooking on the stove. Bella's truck was outside, so where was she?

There was a light drizzle starting but I braved it and walked into the yard. I didn't notice anything unusual until I peered into the Chevy. Her backpack was still sitting on the seat. That was strange. I opened the door and grabbed the backpack, taking it with me back into the house.

Suddenly I began to feel uneasy. I called several of her friends. No one had seen her since school ended. The Cullens were the only people that didn't answer my call. I tried to leave them a message, but there was some kind of glitch.

I turned the light on in the kitchen, and finally noticed the note she had left for me. I waited another half hour. By this time, my heart was in my throat. Being with the police department, I naturally conjured up the worst scenario I could imagine.

I had to do something, or I would fall apart. My little girl was out in the woods, alone with no one to protect her. I was more scared than I had ever been in my entire life. I picked up my cell and called the station for help. Another thought hit me then. I called Billy to see if the young men on the reservation could lend a hand.

My deputy, Trent, arrived with a few men to help out. A caravan of cars was right behind him. I recognized Billy riding in one of them. All the men congregated near my cruiser as I organized the search party. They went into the night with flashlights illuminating a separate path before each of them. Trent patted me on the back. He knew how deep my feelings went for my one and only child. "Don't worry, Charlie," he said, "we'll find her and bring her back safe and sound."

Hours had passed and still no sign of Bella. There had been reports of bear sightings recently, and believe me when I say my nerves were totally frazzled. I felt like my world was crashing down around me.

When she first came to live here in Forks, I don't mind telling you that I was afraid my bachelor ways would send her running for the door. Instead, she rolled up her sleeves and took care of me! Bella did the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, all the while keeping up with her studies at school. I didn't deserve such a selfless child. She never complained, and seemed to enjoy living here with me. I learned to love her all over again. I guess what I really mean to say is that I loved her now more than ever if that was possible. And now she was missing. This was unlike her. She was always so responsible. I was beside myself with worry. I just got her back. I pleaded with God; _don't take her away from me. She's all I have left._

My friend Billy and the boys from the rez were all here helping in the search. I really appreciated their genuine concern, especially, Billy's son, Jacob. He'd been her friend off and on throughout the years, and I could tell her disappearance was weighing heavily on his mind as well. I knew at a glance that his concern was not only that of a friend. Jacob was in love with my daughter. It was plainly written all over his face every time he looked at her. Surprisingly, Bella didn't seem to notice, or chose not to. At any rate, his anxiety over her sudden absence was only surpassed by mine. He kept pacing back and forth, each step matching my own.

It was nearing midnight. The search party was ready to give up. I still clung to the hope that she was still out there, uninjured somewhere in the woods. My adrenaline kept me going, but if something didn't turn up soon, I would collapse from exhaustion and grief.

Suddenly Sam Uley, one of the Quileute men, walked out of the tree line with a precious cargo held close to his bare chest. Bella was lying in his arms like a limp ragdoll soaked from the rain, and covered in forest dirt and leaves. My heart leapt at the sight, and I had to catch the side of my cruiser to prevent myself from falling to the ground—falling with the relief of seeing her. My eyes teared up as I ran to him. Sam waved me aside, and walked into the house still clutching her. He lay her down on the sofa as I grabbed a couple of blankets from the linen closet, and wrapped them around her.

"Did she say what happened?" I asked Sam, as he stood to leave.

He looked at me with a serious expression on his face. "She doesn't seem to be hurt physically. She just keeps saying, 'He's gone.'"

Jacob walked in at that moment. He knelt beside Bella and took her hand in his. "It's gonna be okay, Bells. I promise you. You rest now, honey; I'll see you as soon as I can."

The cars parked outside our house began to drive away one by one.

Billy yelled for Jacob at the doorway, and he went out reluctantly, glancing over his shoulder at Bella one last time.

I sat down beside Bella on the sofa, staring at her. I had a lump in my throat, so that I could barely speak. This was my daughter, my very own flesh and blood, a product of my love for her mother, the woman I still loved—even after all these years.

"Can I get you anything, baby? Something to eat . . . A drink of water?"

"No, Dad, I'm just tired, that's all."

I kissed her on the forehead. "Okay, sweetheart."

There was a knock on the door as Doctor Grenady arrived. He examined Bells and conceded that she was fine, just needed some rest.

After he left, I set up my _Lazy Boy_ beside the couch, so I could keep a vigil for the night. But I couldn't relax. I kept looking over at her, reassuring myself that she was safe at home. My little girl was safe under my roof.

I got up once during the night to use the bathroom. As I gazed down the stairway, my knees weakened and started to buckle. I sat down on the nearest step. My hands instinctively covered my face, and for the first time since Renee left, I let the tears fall.

Bells woke up at the sound of my sobbing. "Daddy," she whispered, "I'm sorry I made you worry about me."

I wiped away the tears with the sleeve of my shirt, and walked down the remaining steps. I knelt down by her side, and tenderly brushed her hair away from her face. I choked out, "It's alright, Bells. I'm just glad we found you. Go back to sleep, honey. I won't be far away."

Morning came, and the thoughts barraging my brain were hard to dismiss. I needed to talk to Bella and find out what actually happened. Why had she gone into the woods knowing that there was a bear on the loose? Did that damn Edward have something to do with this? Why was her backpack left lying in the front seat of her truck?

I called the station and told Trent that I wouldn't be in today. I was in no shape emotionally to go about like it was business as usual. He knew where to find me if a real emergency developed. Right now I wanted to stay home with Bella. She was my number one concern and she needed me more than ever. Nothing in the world could possibly be more important than my little girl. I shuddered to think about what might have happened to her.

I got out the griddle and proceeded to throw together the ingredients for breakfast. Pancakes were easy enough, so I made a few for the two of us. They were a little burnt around the edges, but if the charred pieces were cut off, the rest was edible. I don't mind saying I wasn't exactly in my element when I worked in the kitchen. If it wasn't for the nearby diner, I would have died of starvation long before Bella came to live with me.

Bella finally woke up, removed the blankets from the couch, and threw them into the washing machine.

"I made some pancakes. Are you ready to eat some?" My voice seemed strange—like it was cutting a hole through the silence in the room.

Bella's voice was subdued as she answered, "I'm going to shower first."

I heard the water turn off as she finished her shower. She was dressed in a pair of old ratty sweats when I spotted her coming down the stairs. I didn't like what I saw. Her eyes were vacant as if someone had stolen the light from them .Her hair was uncombed. She walked slowly and sat down at the table. She played with her food, eating only a few bites. She never offered a word, and the quiet was making me nervous.

"Bells," I started, "I need to know how you came to be in the woods last evening. Was Edward with you? Did he leave you there?" If he did, I was going to track him down with guns blazing.

"It was my own fault, Dad. Edward left me in plain sight of the house. He left, and I tried to follow him—but I got lost. I'm sorry I caused all this trouble."

"Dr. Grenady told me that the Cullens have moved to Los Angeles very suddenly. I guess Dr. Cullen got offered a job that he couldn't refuse. They're all gone sweetheart. I know this is hard for you to accept—but life has to go on—even when we don't want it to."

"I know," she responded flatly.

She got up from the table. "I've got homework I have to do. I'll be in my room."

"I got your backpack out of the truck. I put it next to the fireplace in the living room."

She nodded her head and went to retrieve it. She trudged up the stairs to her room. Bella came out of her bedroom that day only to cook the next two meals and wash up the dishes.

Mind you, I'm not much of a talker myself, but the eerie silence was starting to get to me. Bella didn't offer any conversation unless I asked her a direct question. Even then, her response was short and to the point.

That night, the screaming began. Believe me when I tell you that the first time it happened, I was stricken with a feeling of utter helplessness. Me—Charlie Swan—Chief of Police—scared and helpless. This was personal; this was my only child. This was my daughter.

Her screams woke me from a sound sleep. I bolted out of bed and rushed to her room. She was thrashing about in the bed obviously in terror. I stood with one leg leaning against the bed frame. I perched the knee of my other leg on the mattress. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, hugging her tightly to my chest.

"I'm here, baby," I whispered softly. "You're safe. No one's going to hurt you. It's just a bad dream." Her shaking began to subside little by little.

Her heavy breathing decreased until at last it returned to normal. I eased her head down to the pillow, and released her shoulders. I sat on the edge of her bed, smoothing my hand over her hair again and again until she fell into a sound sleep.

* * *

A week went by and there was no change in Bella's behavior. I called Billy and expressed my concerns to him. I asked about Jacob, thinking maybe his presence would somehow help her. Billy said he thought it best that Jacob stay on the reservation. Even though I disagreed—Jacob was his son—so I honored his decision.

Three and a half months had passed. Bella did her school assignments, kept pace with the housework, and the cooking, but her heart was noticeably absent. She was like a robot; just going through the motions. I finally couldn't take it anymore. It was painful watching her go about her life with no sign of joy, or anger or even sadness. Each day was another series of tasks—and each night—another episode of unbridled terror and screaming.

Edward never made any attempt to contact her—not even a letter of apology or goodbye. I wished I could put a bullet hole in him for every time I had to sit by her side listening to her heart wrenching cries.

One morning I put my foot down. "Bells, I know that you're hurting still; but you've got to face the fact, honey. He's never coming back. If he cared about you, he would have made some effort to call or write to you. It's been months, and I don't feel like you're handling this well.

"You know, when your mother left me and took you away with her, I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. The two people I loved the most were taken from me. It took me awhile to _live_ again, but I knew I had to. You were depending on me. Even though I couldn't be with you and see you every day, I had to go on for your sake.

"Sweetheart, I think you might need some professional help. I'm going to send you back to live with your mother. I don't know what to do for you anymore. Maybe you'll be able to get the help you need in Jacksonville."

Bella answered softly, "I'm not going anywhere. You're not sending me away. I am not seeing a shrink either. I promise I'll do better, Dad. Would it make you happy if I saw some of my friends? I'll go out with Jessica—I'll call her right now."

"That's a start; maybe you could visit Jacob, too. I just want you to be happy again, Bells. I don't want you to leave—I really don't, but I can't stand seeing you like this. It's killing me. You've got to let him go . . . Please, honey . . . for your sake as well as mine."

* * *

Jessica and Bella went out one evening as promised, but I didn't see any change in her expression. The eyes still held that vacant stare, her shoulders remained slumped. She did say however that she invited Billy and Jacob to dinner this weekend.

Friday arrived along with our dinner guests. The food was great—and boy—that Jacob could really pack it away. It looked like he had grown a couple of inches since the last time I saw him too. Jacob and Bella washed and put away the dishes, then went outside on the back porch. Billy and I stayed in the living room watching the latest action movie.

I went into the kitchen to get Billy and myself some snacks—when I couldn't help but overhear Jacob talking quietly to Bella. I peered out the window and saw the two of them sitting side by side on the porch step.

I overheard Jacob say, "I wanted to see you, but my dad didn't think it was a good idea. Can you believe that? I missed you Bells—I missed the girl that used to laugh at my corny jokes. I missed watching you trip over your own two feet. I even missed our little arguments. I want you to come visit me tomorrow on the Rez. Can you do that for me . . . please?"

"I don't know, Jake. I have a lot to do—homework—cooking for Charlie . . ."

"Come off it, Bells—you can't fool me. Charlie would jump for joy, if you came over to the house . . . and you know it! He'd probably give you a motorcycle escort."

He turned to her and apparently didn't like what he saw in her eyes. His voice immediately raised a few decibels. "Will you just look at yourself? It's still _him_, isn't it? What the hell did he do to you? Look . . . your dad talks to mine all the time. Hell, that guy left you lying on the ground—in the rain—half dead. He doesn't deserve your mourning over him. He's gone! Jeez, Bells, wake up! Can't you see? He didn't deserve you. He was an idiot to let you go. You need to give your heart to someone who will cherish it—not someone who throws it back in your face. Give it to someone like me . . . I would never, ever hurt you . . . you know that, right? I'll always be here for you. Start living again—for god's sake. Give him up already! He's not worth it!"

Bella made a choking sound, and suddenly she began to sob uncontrollably. Jacob put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him. He rested her head on his chest and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Go ahead, honey; it's about time. You need to get all that venom out of your system—get _him_ out of your system. Don't hold onto it anymore. Let all that hurt wash away. I promise . . . I'll help put your heart back together. It'll be in working order in no time at all. You've got to believe that."

I pushed away from the window and returned to the living room with the snacks. Billy chided me with: "Took you long enough. I think my hair grew another inch while you were gone."

* * *

That night, I slept soundly, straight on 'til morning light. When I got up I realized that I hadn't heard a peep out of Bella—no screaming—no night terrors—huh . . .

The next day after work, I went home only to find the house empty. There was a note on the fridge. It read:

Don't panic.

I'm at Jake's. Come on over for supper.

Love,

Bells

When I arrived at Billy's home, I could hear Bella's laughter. I looked out the back door and there she was running from the garage to the house. Jacob held her hand in his own, and they both wore smiles resembling a sunburst. I thought I would burst too. My daughter was back—my Bella. I would never lose her again, unless it was to Jaob. I don't mind telling you that I would gladly give her away to him—as his bride. Damn, now there's another thing to worry about! But . . . well . . . that's another story. I think I'm going to need a lot more Vitamin R. Fatherhood is definitely not for the faint of heart.

* * *

A/N: This one shot was an entry in the Strictly Charlie Contest. Didn't garner any awards, but It was fun to write.


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